In Celebration of Earth Day, I Bought a Hybrid!

I'm really tickled about my new 2008 Ford Escape Hybrid SUV. As many of you know, it's a substantial change from what I'm used to driving (half ton gas-guzzling pick-up trucks!), but I've been making a lot of lifestyle changes over the course of the past year, and this is really the cumulative milestone! It suits my needs, despite what I've told myself in the past, and it'll get more than double the gas mileage I'm used to. But the real reason I bought it--and chose the green color--is that it makes a statement. It's a hybrid. It's green--literally, and figuratively. And its just another way I can offset my carbon footprint.

Now, because it's Earth Day, and relevant issues have been all over the media lately, I'd like to set the whole issue to rest. I have a substantial amount of friends on both sides of the issue: the Damnit! Accept the "intolerant truth" that we're killing the earth and must do something right this second, or else! camp, and the That's just more liberal left-wing nonsense--everyone knows Global Warming is entirely cyclical camp. *Whew* That's more than a mouthful.

What's my solution? A very simple compromise composed of two parts: 1) the "why not?" argument and 2) take care of your shit! The bottom line is I don't give a damn who you are, or what you believe; it's obvious that throwing a non-biodegradable substance onto the ground is probably a bad thing to do. Not only does it ugly things up, but an educated person knows, quite certainly, that the item in question won't be going away for awhile.

It's a much easier route to question the authority of this source or that source, ignore any problems by shifting the focus on a company's exploitation of these issues in order to better their public relations with consumers, and basically just lambaste the concern altogether. But I say, "why not?" Why not take better care of the environment? Does it hurt you or is it in any way, shape or form, bad for you? If the alternative is just as simple, just as efficient, and just as cost-effective then why the hell not?

That being said, I'd be hardpressed to accept any rebuttals to the whole "take care of your shit" argument. It's really that simple. Take care of your shit, and in so doing, keep yourself aware of what you're doing and why. Let's briefly look at three primary examples: 1) shopping for clothes, 2) food purchases, and most relevant, 3) automotive decisions.

Shopping for clothes:

Next time you're out buying clothing, instead of worrying about what label some eleven year old Chinese girl sewed on your inferior quality "designer" outfit, try thinking about where the articles are made, how they're made and with what materials. How does the company you're buying from treat its employees? Are the natural materials they're using organic? Are the synthetic materials they're using recycled? These are the questions you should be asking yourself when you choose to support a company. Instead of conveniently forgetting about who you support so you don't feel bad about it, choose wisely and you'll actually feel really good about the purchases you make!

Furthermore, if you choose organic natural materials over the pesticide-ridden alternative, it really doesn't make much sense to clean those garments with detergents full of chemicals, now does it? Shopping for clothing also means determining how you're going to maintain them. Use organic detergents and try not to use fabric softeners (taking your clothes out of the dryer prematurely and line-drying them prevents static cling), never use high heat in the dryer and limit the amount of hot water you use in the washer, and avoid items you have to dry-clean if you can help it.

And remember, you don't have to go buy clothing every season either. The absolute best way you can help out is to cut down consuming altogether. I, for one, have reserved myself to only purchasing clothing I need for specific reasons and/or when I'm travelling to a region I'd like to help support by boosting the local economy. Of course, if there's a really good eBay deal on a Patagonia article...

Food Purchases:

Eating naturally and healthily is not only much better for you mentally and physically, but it's also really good for the environment. I've talked to so many people that argue organic foods aren't any better than "normal" foods. Organic foods and organic farming tactics aren't about "better tasting" food, necessarily, but about limiting our need for chemicals and pesticides, taking better care of our livestock, and ridding our foods of unhealthy preservatives and artificial ingredients. You don't have to be a Vegan or watch absolutely everything you eat or spend a great deal of money; just be aware of what you're consuming. Try not eating at any fast food restaurant for a month and then tell me you don't feel any healthier, or have a great deal more energy and stamina.

Much like the first example, maintaining a healthy diet also includes other aspects as well. After eating, you typically brush your teeth--but what's in your toothpaste? If you see anything resembling "sodium laureth sulfate" it's generally a good idea to stay away. Unfortunately, that really limits you in the brands you can choose. All the major brands you know of use this chemical in many bathroom products because a) its very cheap and b) it efficiently spreads the paste (or gel, or soap, and so on) by foaming. However, it's a known irritant and, in very large quantities, is actually strong enough to degrease the floors of industrial complexes! Granted, I'll accept the argument that in the small quantities, the chemical is probably harmless; however, my rebuttal is those simple two words again: "why not?"

It's very simple to weed out what you eat and the products you use: choose organic over synthetic. Take a quick peek at the label and really start focusing on what the food matter is comprised of. It's because of healthy, concerned consumers that Whole Foods is now a corporate mega-giant (that may have its own ramifications; but for now, I'm still on board) and that's why many fast food restaurants are responding in kind. If we just stop buying shit, they'll stop making it. It's that simple.

Finally, try also to limit the amount of food you eat. I struggle with this myself! I love to eat, and I eat a lot, but I know I eat too much! When I walk into a restaurant and order a normal sized meal (and a few beers), I usually walk out lethargically and over-stuffed. However, if I split a small appetizer with a friend and then split an entree as well, I walk out feeling refreshed, satisfied, and energetic. It all goes back to being aware of what you consume, how much you're consuming and why you are consuming it.

Automotive decisions:

Lately, I'm sure you've been bombarded with information about fuel economy and CO2 emissions. Well, these are the most important issues out there, and the best way we can all stand together to offset our carbon footprint. The true hybrids are just the beginning. Not only do they drive like any normal vehicle, but they're far more fuel efficient and currently still offer some killer tax incentives. Ford Motor Company is actually working on the first true full-sized truck hybrid (sorry, GM's alleged hybrid trucks are NOT true hybrids), which is rumored will get 60 MPG. That's insane. If we could only get those oil companies and their influence out of the way, we could certainly lessen our impact on the environment and, if that's not good enough for you, lessen and ultimately deplete our dependency on foreign oil.

But even if you can't afford to go purchase a new vehicle, try to drive less in the one you have. Plan your destinations more carefully and try to carpool as often as you can. When you're driving, try to be more consistent in your speeds (yes, I have a problem with this as well). And if you haven't accepted the fact that there is a revolution happening in the in the automotive industry, open up your eyes. You'll see a dozen more hybrid vehicles coming out later this year and in 2008. We're already seeing other great developments in electrical vehicles, biodiesel may become more prevalent (as it is in other countries), and other alternative fuels are on the rise.

The great thing about environmentalism is that its really become a fad and many companies are jumping on the bandwagon. As a consumer, you control a part of absolutely every industry that exists. The clothing industry relies on your purchases, so stop buying inferior quality clothing products, put together in sweatshops. The food industry relies on your purchases, so stop supporting fast food and unhealthy food products. The automotive industry relies on your purchases so stop buying gas-guzzling machines with poor emissions ratings. Stop shopping and these industries will change. We've witnessed the beginning, but I'm really excited about what's in store for the future! Happy Earth Day!

SXSW.2007 Day Five: "Reel Shorts 3," The Devil Came on Horseback, Manufacturing Dissent, and Zoo

Tuesday morning, I woke up and headed straight for the Alamo South just in time to catch my first shorts program: "Reel Shorts 3."

For A Swim With the Fish is a charming nine minute tale of a young girl who skips school one day to visit her mother, who she strongly believes is a mermaid living in the Gulf of Mexico.

If you've ever known one of those extreme sports guys who just won't quit, check out Monday Night. For five minutes--the duration of the film--I just couldn't stop laughing.

I really enjoyed Tom's War on Terror. The two minute short is predictable, but tackles an all-too-familiar subject in a way that's both laughable and makes you feel weird for laughing at the same time. I'd really like to see some more of Tom's adventures!

Pop Foul, probably the most important film of the set, conveys in twenty minutes what many feature length films have failed miserably to communicate over and over again. The struggle to rise out of poverty and crime is certainly not as easy as so many like to pretend it is; and this film shows a family who's really trying, but may fail due to the negative environment around them, and the reality that others they encounter will constantly deter them rising above.

Piece By Piece is an informative fifteen minute documentary about speedcubing, featuring an array of amateurs and record holders of the Rubick's Cube sport. You get it all: traditional speedcubing, oversized speedcubing, mini-speedcubing, one-handed speedcubing, and so much more! One trick you don't get to see, but I'm awaiting, is speedcubing three traditional cubes while juggling. Accomplish that--and solve the puzzle--and I'll give you a cookie!

By Modern Measure is a smart quip about the "MySpace" generation and its obliviousness to important current sociopolitical events.

We're Going to the Zoo is a sweet fourteen minute short about a brother and a sister who pick up an innocuous hitchhiker on their way to the zoo.

After the "Reel Shorts 3" program, David and I decided to hit Whole Foods for a quick lunch, and saw this awesome South Texas Pride car along the way!


For more information on these films, look them up! I can't be bothered!

***
The most important aspect about The Devil Came on Horseback is its images, simply for the unfortunate fact that no one, really, has seen anything properly documenting the brutality going on over there. There's been sporadic text every now and then, and even a picture or two; but, by and large, the waves in the press about Darfur are merely ankle busters compared to this film's tsunami of pictorials and video, displaying the absolute horror of that region of Sudan.

The film follows Brian Steidle, a man who's entire career has been military-based. He served as a USMC captain and when he would no longer see combat, he left the military and accepted a contract position in Sudan with the Joint Military Commission, where he would be an integral part of the North-South ceasefire, rising the ranks from a team leader to senior operations officer. After seven months, he was invited to Darfur, where he would serve as an unarmed military observer and American representative for the African Union in that region. This film documents his findings as an observer.

What he found was systematic ethnic-cleansing genocide. The Sudanese government was not only enabling the mass extinction of its citizens, it was controlling it. The "devil" in the title of the film are the Janjaweed, nomadic black-Arab militia groups who massacre entire villages, by exterminating its non-Arab black African inhabitants and literally burn the tribes' homes to the ground. They are "paid" in plunder and are notorious for raping their female victims, castrating their male victims and torturing them all.

The Janjaweed have been more adequately equipped and become a far greater threat since non-Arab groups, the Sudan Liberation Army and the Justice and Equality Movement, have risen up against the Sudanese government, for its mistreatment of its people. Although the government of Sudan has repeatedly denied any assistance to these barbarous raiding bandits, this film has been a breakthrough of evidence, showing quite clearly the government's involvement.

To really understand this film, however, is to understand its tragedy. No one is really doing anything about this. Even after Steidle came back and lobbied before congress in an effort to call the United States to action, his plethora of images and video were dismissed as nothing more than inconvenient casualties in another state-sponsored genocide that we're unwilling to involve ourselves in. Sure, they were acknowledged and Colin Powell called it what it was--a "genocide"--but there's still over 450,000 dead and counting, and 2.5 million displaced.

This cartoon by Mike Luckovich really says it all:


I could describe to you the images I saw--the maiming and killing of men, women and children; their eyes gouged out and their bodies burned, castrated and mutilated--and how I reacted, emotionally with tears of hopelessness and regret, when I saw this film. But instead, I think it far more powerful for you to go see this film for yourself. Then perhaps you'll want to take action and help let our government know that you want it to take active involvement in stopping this nightmare. It's not enough to talk about it and acknowledge that it's happening--we need to take active measures in preventing the perpetuation of these government sanctioned massacres.

Remember, just as you've read this review in the comfort of your own home or office or wherever, the killing in Sudan continues. And it won't stop until every last one of the non-Arab black Africans are dead, or when, and if, someone steps in and takes appropriate action to stop it.

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.thedevilcameonhorseback.com/home.html
To find out more about the conflict and what you can do, go to: http://www.savedarfur.org/

***

One of the really sad things about Hollywood, is that it continues to label Michael Moore a documentarian. His films aren't documentaries, rather, creatively and cleverly manipulated quasi-truthful narratives, posing as entirely nonfiction. He's a damn good entertainer and something of an activist. He believes in shaking up the government and berating its policies, he makes it his mission to expose large corporations for all sorts of naughty things, and he thrives on his own self-prophesying martyrdom. Because so many of his followers agree with his politics, they ignore the untruths and feel the ends justify the means. Sure, Michael Moore has subjects that really need to be tackled, and he's even got some truth behind what he "documents"; but the sheer fact that he manufactures false premises and then "backs them up" with unsubstantiated facts, to arrive at strawman conclusions, really trumps most of what he does.

Manufacturing Dissent basically takes on Michael Moore in the same manner that he's now notoriously known for. Toronto-based documentary filmmakers and "progressive liberals" Rick Caine and Debbie Melnyk originally set out to film a positive documentary about Moore, his films and his methods, due to his enormous contributions to documentary filmmaking (he really has popularized the genre). As Caine and Melnyk engulfed themselves in research, however, they found what many of us had already known: Michael Moore is an arrogant blowhard who--guess what?--manufactures dissent in order to askew topics in his favor. He's really just a walking "talking point" for left-wing liberals. Not that that's a bad thing, per se; but when facts are ignored, manipulated or taken out of context, we should have a problem with it. And, worse, when we decide it's better to be to be "quick and witty, rather than thoughtful," as one person in the film describes Moore, we've not allowed ourselves any chance at really getting to the core of these issues (will The Daily Show and The Colbert Report be our downfall?).

The film really gets to the heart of what's at stake by talking about the covenant a documentarian has with its audience to tell the truth--at least to the best of the filmmaker's knowledge. Documentaries really serve as a catalyst to incite interest in a particular non-fictional subject for a barrage of reasons, such as social, political, informative or downright entertaining purposes. If the viewer can't trust the filmmaker, the film loses its credibility.

Some might argue that this is a small price to pay for enlightening so many about what's really going on in the world. But take a look at what happens when Michael Moore starts blabbering on about something-or-other. Namely, his sheep-like supporters look at the world in his patented tunnel-vision sunglasses; while his opposers attack him personally and mock all that he stands for. He's a hero for his choir and a demon for his opposition. Isn't that really backwards progress?

For the same reason I don't subscribe to Star magazine, or watch the E! channel, I try, really hard, not to listen to Michael Moore. And when I do watch his docu...er, mockumentaries--and I do watch them--I take them entirely with a grain of salt. Manufacturing Dissent, on the other hand, seems to be quite in-line with what a documentary film should be.

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.myspace.com/161093092

***
Zoo is probably as tasteful a movie as can be, given its bestial subject. For those of you who aren't aware, there's a small population of the world who prefer the love of an animal--both mentally and physically--over the love of a human. This film stylistically recreates the life and death of one horse lover, Mr. Hands, and his pack of animal molesting friends, during one of many meetings and BBQ's in a small town near Seattle. Mr. Hands died from internal injuries, caused by the numerous and repetitive thrusting of the enlarged member of a stallion into his anus.

The film is tasteful because it's not sleazy. In this respect, it's almost worse on the audience because it humanizes these so-called animal lovers. What you'd think would be more like a shockumentary, more than anything else, really becomes a shallow dissection of a zoophile's playful mind. It's certainly not psychological, nor really in-depth; but its shallowness really makes it that much more grim.

As I watched the film, I felt like a voyeur peering into the lives of ordinary human beings doing absolutely bizarre and reprehensible things--and they just talked about it as if it were as benign and workaday as eating a bowl of cereal or taking the dog for a ride [insert pun here]. Yet, much like a pedophile talking about his love for children, these zoophile's innocently and sincerely spoke about their love for animals.

Initially concerned about the content of the film, I left the theater without witnessing the exploitation or mockery of bestiality, nor did I see anything graphic or overtly sexual. I did leave the theater a little sickened, however, because I didn't loathe Mr. Hands or his friends. In fact, I somehow sympathized with their pitiful plight.

I could not find an offiicial site for this film.

***

Immediately after Zoo I headed over to Maggie Mae's for the SXSW Film Closing Party where I met and talked for several hours with a new special effects friend of mine and Austin local. Oddly enough, for an hour or two, Nicky Katt (Boiler Room) was a few feet away, chugging Lonestar, smoking Pot, and chatting it up with Louis Black (editor, Austin Chronicle). I asked a girl who was with him for a light, but didn't see any need to bother Nicky, himself. I did really like him in Boiler Room though.

After I'd closed down the party, I was walking to my truck, when I happened to somehow find myself in the Dirty Country afterparty. Unfortunately, I missed the film, but I got a taste of the music. If you want totally uncouth and raunchy and crude country music, check out Larry Pierce and band.

I don't really remember leaving the party, or what happened between there and my cousin's house. Uhhh... But I did wake up in the morning to see a nifty film about Cancer...

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

I remember distinctly the first time I picked up something written by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. I was perusing a local used book shop and I came along a fairly tattered, ex-library copy of Slaughterhouse-Five. Oddly enough, I was just out of college and still hadn't had the pleasure of reading a work by Vonnegut (something I've remedied over the past five years). I actually shelved the book for awhile and didn't think twice about Vonnegut or his writings until I randomly pulled out a paperback copy of Breakfast of Champions amongst a very small group of close friends of mine in front of a Barnes & Noble bookstore and began reading. Completely enthralled, we took turns reading passages from the book, until we'd finished a great deal of it. Subsequently, I completed the novel and have since read just about all of his major published works.

Even at the senior age of eighty-four, Vonnegut was still going full-force, creatively. His dynamic contribution to the arts is immeasurable, and his words never fell on deaf ears. His bizarre absurdist tales of fiction have been required reading for quite some time; his sociopolitical essays and musings--while controversial--have been a driving force for diverse thought; and his sketches have always lent a charming appeal to compliment his novels as well as on their own accord. Mr. Vonnegut has left us with a grand legacy of literary accomplishment, in a manner which challenges all of us.

Much like his own life, his characters were often thrust into uncomfortable predicaments and constant philosophical struggles with self and environment. Vonnegut's own experiences in World War II as a P.O.W. would later shape his entire writing style and outlook on life. His cynical worldview--oftimes, justly so--pushed him to attempt suicide. But upon failing, his courage allowed him to later write about it. So it goes.

My favorite quote by Kurt Vonnegut is from Jailbird and is as follows:

"I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool."

We, as human beings, must never lose sight of where we're heading and how we're getting there. Unlike Vonnegut, I do have hope for humanity; but perhaps that hope is unchecked. With so much destruction, it's entirely difficult to think forwardly towards a constructive future; but perhaps if we take a moment and really look at what's going on all around us, we'll begin to be human again. Vonnegut's pessimistic purview has been a driving catalyst in my own life--albeit, quiet and reserved. But perhaps it's time for me to become more vocal about it.

In his "autobiographical collage," Fates Worse than Death, Vonnegut professed, "I don't care if I'm remembered or not when I'm dead." Well, my dear friend, not only will you be remembered, but with reverence and gratitude.

SXSW.2007 Day Four: Audience of One, Frownland, Quiet City, and Flakes

After the screening of Audience of One, much to the surprise--nay, the horror--of viewers, Pastor Richard Gazowsky and some of his congregation approached the stage with director Michael Jacobs. I, for one, had my hand over my mouth; my eyes were widened; and I certainly didn't know what to expect next.

But I'm getting ahead of myself--let's backtrack.

It took Gazowsky forty years to see his first feature film. Now the mission statement of his San Francisco based WYIWYG ("What You See Is What You Get") Filmworks is: "To bring the presence of God to people all over the world through entertainment." A highly unlikely candidate for a director, Gazowsky has made it his lifelong mission--since God told him to do it, of course--to get the biggest film ever on screen. It's kinda like "Star Wars meets The Ten Commandments"; shot on 65mm, it will be "the greatest movie ever made" and with a two million dollar budget to boot! A humble goal, indeed. Well, with that kind of pressure on your shoulders, it's no doubt that the film hasn't been made, despite hundreds of thousands of dollars and over a decade invested.

Jacobs doesn't really interfere much, in this film. He simply sits back and watches the roller coaster that is WYSIWYG Filmworks. Throughout the documentary, we see a highly inexperienced crew, a director who treats the set as a dictatorship instead of a collaboration, and a train wreck of goofs, mix-ups and failures. Anyone outsourced--and with any experience--ends up leaving, due to the misguided creative vision of the wannabe director. The crew spends money they don't have, relying on "investors" we never see; who end up dropping the whole project in the grease. Yet, the troupe hold on to that crazy vision and pray like there's no tomorrow because they are bound by faith!

Just about the entire film made me laugh out loud, but at the same time, I felt a little ill in my stomach. The real question here--despite all the buffoonery and delusion--seems to be of immense import: is all of this a tad bit dangerous?

Going back to the Q&A session, after the film; one audience member asked the pastor if he'd immediately turn to operate, if God had asked him to be a surgeon. And while the pastor's answer is an obvious one, the question still lingers in the air. Is this man's ambitiousness capable of hurting others around him?

I certainly don't doubt this man's determination or his conviction--he actually sold his house to help the project--however, I do have doubt in his ability to deliver. And while he may be blinded by his own ambition, it's simply no excuse to waste the hopes and aspirations--and money!--of true believers, on the weak foundation of a deluded dream. This problematic, cultish mentality might be funny from the outside; but as we've seen so many times over: fundamentalism can be a very dangerous thing.

The pastor's response to all of this?

“It’s like watching yourself go to the toilet,” he says with sincerity. “I don’t like to see myself cry. I feel like a total idiot in front of you guys. But what if we end up getting funded, dude? Then I’m not so stupid. Maybe.”

Maybe. Or, perhaps you're just a charlatan, who's just wasted another large sum of money--and someone else's dreams--due to false promises, based on absurdity and lofty goals, impossible to meet.

For more information on this film, go to: http://myspace.com/audienceofonedoc

***

Frownland is like one of those intensely embarrassing situations where you end up laughing out loud at exactly the wrong time; and just at the moment you realize you shouldn't be laughing, you've already reached the pinnacle of voice resoundness; and as you look around you at the ghostly white faces with their gaping wide-open mouths and glazen eyes, you feel a piercing ache beginning in the pit of your stomach and suddenly rushing up your throat and... well, you get the point.

But for all its unpleasantness and punches in the face, Frownland, really is a remarkable piece of work that, after viewing the inarticulate mess of a main character and all his pathetic troubles and mishaps, makes you want to scratch your own eyes out and at the same time, you feel sickenly sorry for him.

It would have been a lot easier for me to simply walk out of Ronald Bronstein's film, but for some insane reason, I felt an unwavering determination to stay the course and experience all the grainy irritation the film has to offer. If someone sets you on fire, you typically want to put it out: Stop! Drop! And Roll! But with this film, you want to watch the flame slowly engulf your entire body. You endure the pain--perhaps out of spite, or some unknown masochistic curiosity I can't even begin to attempt to explain.

Unfortunately, mainstream cinema will never let this film come to a theater near you. But if you get a chance to catch it, prepare yourself: bring a doggie bag.

For more information on this film, go to: http://frownlandinc.com/index.html

***

Much like Hannah Takes the Stairs, Aaron Katz's Quiet City focuses more on dialogue than on plot. I mean, here's the plot, in a nutshell. Girl flies to a strange city to meet her friend. Girl meets strange boy and asks strange boy for directions to diner so that she can meet her flaky friend that is always late and sometimes never shows up (I mean, we see where this is going, don't we?). Strange boy accompanies girl to diner, into diner, after diner, and several days following. There's some other people involved; an art show and after party; and some six degrees action to make the plot a bit more interesting; but that's about it.

But it's a nice film. That's really all there is to it. This is yet another film by another "ultra-indy" filmmaker, focusing on twentysomethings and the way they communicate. The scene, cutely coined mumblecore seems to lump together a group of filmmakers (coincidentally, all of them seem to like each other and/or work together) who all seem to be focused on the ultra-indy tactics like self-distribution, microbudgets and digital marketing of their own films. It's interesting how the six degrees theme in the film, Quiet City seems to ring true for this whole mumblecore thing: this new drawing, by Aaron Hillis, illustrates a great deal of the connections at SXSW and really spells the whole thing out. These guys all started out individually, but we've seen quite a collaboration this year. I'm anxious to see what's next for the mumblecorps?

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.dancepartyusathemovie.com/quietcity/

***

Michael Lehmann's new film, Flakes, could have been a quirky comedy, centered on a new type of concept "cereal" bar. Instead, it tries too hard to be a romantic comedy with a quirky setting, and unfortunately, doesn't really deliver anything romantic or comedic. I mean, the setting really is great. And the overlying plot--young entrepreneur threatens to Starbuck over a local establishment with a local following--might have worked, if the film had been completely different.

But instead of focusing on the fact that these guys live, eat and breathe cereal, Lehmann decides to cliché it all up by introducing the same old, badly written girl-wants-slackerboy-to-quit working-his-dead-end-job-and-focus-on-his-aspiring-music-career theme. And because of this, we never really get to learn that much about cereal, or what great toys come out of cereal boxes, or really anything cool at all. We do get some slack-off acting and a shameful appearance by Christopher Lloyd. All-in-all, it's a waste of time and plays more like a badly written sitcom than an actual feature film.

I have no idea where to go to find more information on this film, as I couldn't find an official site.

After Flakes I was ready to give up on film for the evening, so I joined some B-Siders at the PayPal party and it all gets blurry from there...

SXSW.2007 Day Three: "Grindhouse 101" panel, Hell on Wheels, Pretty in the Face, and Hannah Takes the Stairs

Robert Rodriguez (dir. Desperado, Spy Kids, Sin City), respected by many in the film world, is something of a local hero in Austin. Creating films since childhood, Rodriguez has pushed the envelope of independent film for several decades. He's always paved his own pathway, despite criticism from Hollywood, and has always found a way not to compromise his creative vision with every project he's been involved with.

His latest film, Grindhouse--with fellow friend and director, Quentin Tarrantino--a pastiche of both grindhouse cinema houses and the films themselves, served as the catalyst of the "Grindhouse 101" panel. In the sixties and seventies, some inner-city movie houses would showcase a double feature of b-movie exploitation films--often pornographic or extremely violent in nature. These films would often be contrived after the filming of a sensational trailer or graphic movie poster. Shocking trailers and gripping poster designs were supposed to induce interest in the audience. Most of these trailers were only seen in the actual movie houses themselves, given it was far more common for a film to travel from town-to-town, relying on the theater and local advertising to introduce the film and bring about interest from viewers. Unfortunately, by the end of the eighties most of these theaters had been rendered obsolete, due to the explosion of the home video market. Rodriguez and Tarrantino attempt to bring that wonderfully awful phenomenon back with their latest project, a double-feature--each directed individually--that uses many of the same tactics and exploitative nature of the original grindhouse films; and even some digitally enhanced effects, such as using the actual film stock to change the mood, purposely introduced blemishes in the film stock, and rough cuts in the editing and splicing of the film.

Following are four trailers shown during the panel, which give specific insight into what grindhouse cinema really is. Please note that these trailers may, or may not, be rated. They are offensive and graphic: exactly what grindhouse cinema should be! So, don't say I didn't warn you.

The Green Slime


Boss Nigger


They Call Her One Eye


The Crippled Master


The panel also served as a forum to present the winner of the SXSW grindhouse trailer competition. Following is the trailer that took first place, followed by two additional finalists. Same warning applies.

Hobo With a Shotgun


The Dead Won't Die


Maiden of Death


However, the highlight of the occasion was viewing Eli Roth's own grindhouse trailer, Thanksgiving, a bloody look at the celebrated holiday. With this trailer, you get sexploitation and explicit violence: all the right ingredients for a funfest of rape and murder!

Thanksgiving

For more information on the film, Grindhouse, go to: http://www.grindhousemovie.net/

***

After Rodriguez's panel, I headed over to the Paramount Theater to check out the Hell on Wheels premiere, a documentary about a misfit group of pierced-up & tattooed, punk rock chicks who bond together in the hopes of reviving the defunct sport of roller derby. The film clearly demonstrates their eventual success in doing just that--albeit through many trials and errors and corporate reorganizations; along with bitter, greedy disputes and tension-built aggression sessions. Hell on Wheels not only presents the sport itself, but provides as a behind-the-scenes exposé on how it has gone from a small revival in Austin to garnering world-wide acclaim--it currently boasts being the fastest growing women's sport in America.

What was really cool for me, personally though, was the fact that I actually used to work with one of the original Lonestar Rollergirls (shout-out to you, Rachelle!). She was one of many who actually left the original league due to a shift in corporate philosophy--where originally, a select group of founding members shared all stock in the corporation and controlled all aspects of the league--and formulated a new league, the Texas Rollergirls, owned and operated by the skaters themselves. Apparently, the original league has now-since embraced much of the same corporate philosophy it was originally fighting against.

Of course, if you don't care about the history behind today's roller derby, there's certainly enough hot chicks beating up other hot chicks action to keep you satisfied!

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.hellonwheelsthemovie.com/

After the film, I briefly hit the after-party for some free pizza and lasagna (and actually paid for my first beer of the week!), before rushing back to the Alamo Drafthouse to catch my next film.

***

Pretty in the Face is a depressing look at two individuals--Maggie, a homely girl with little self-image who constantly suffers her own blahness, and Daniel, an overweight fourteen year-old who resents his mother for being appallingly obese--who, uniting through individual tragedies, serve to help each other by finding a commonality of confusion and want of transgression in a world of banality and commonplace.

While the film's premise is an interesting one--and it's certainly important to focus on the problems of vanity in today's society--it just didn't seem to work for me. I never found myself sympathetic of the characters or their plights. And on top of that, the quality of the film was really poor and grainy. Because of these issues, I left the theater unchanged and in search of something a bit more gratifying. So, I was happy to meet my buddy Dave, to see the premiere of Joe Swanberg's latest film.

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.prettyintheface.com/pitf/index.cfm

***

Before I talk about the film itself, let me first say that all of the SXSW trailers were short "on-the-set," humorous vignettes, akin to funny episodes on MySpace and YouTube. This is what Swanberg seems to be all about: toying with, and embracing, that quirkiness of amateur movie-making that's overtaking the Internet. He plays on the influence of chatspeak and caters to a new brand of digital marketing, creating a whole other level of filmmaking--and backhandedly shunning Hollywood and all of its big-budget bullshit.

Hannah Takes the Stairs takes a look at how ordinary, modern-day twentysomethings communicate. Like the vignettes, the film is episodic, improvised and basically has no plot. But that's the exact charm of Hannah: it's unique style allows the film to display visceral moments, which may not have otherwise been accessible through the lens of traditional cinema photography. These moments of actor-to-audience relation, lends a realness to the film that bridges the gap between what's happening on the screen and what's going on in the theater.

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.hannahtakesthestairs.com/

***

After the premiere, I headed to the afterparty with Dave and crew, for some drinks and discussion; and then we all went to Austin's own homegrown Kerbey Lane Cafe for a late-night dinner. A few days later, between screenings at the Alamo South, I found a rad Kerbey Lane t-shirt circa 1994 at The Salvation Army for a buck!

SXSW.2007 Day Two: Confessions of a Superhero, American Zombie, and Undead or Alive: A Zombedy

Confessions of a Superhero, directed by Matt Ogens, documents four celebrity or, in this case, comic-book character, impersonators, who work everyday on Hollywood Boulevard, in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre, meeting tourists and taking pictures with them. Interpolated with amazing stills, the documentary is well put together and really shows the depressing struggle for famedom.

The characters go out everyday, hoping to make ends meet by accepting tips in exchange for taking pictures with tourists; and, at the same time, work constantly, striving for a breakthrough in the film industry. All of the characters seem to have a certain sense of humor with regards to themselves and their careers--or lack thereof. And yet they are still driven, and find import in what they do on a daily basis. The film chronicles the daily activities of these four characters; we see them getting dressed to hit the boulevard, visiting their therapists and in their personal relationships. We see that the real heroes are not really the costumes at all--but the people inside. Following is those people inside the costumes.

Superman, played by Christopher Lloyd Dennis, is the veteran of the group. Doing this for over thirteen years, he's respected by many of the character actors, the locals, and apparently the authorities (he's never had a complaint, to date). Throughout the film, he forces me to like him: he's very warm-hearted, seemingly selfless and humble. We see him propose to his current wife (obviously, she says "yes") and she's so in love with him and charmed by him, the viewer can't help but fall in love as well. Dennis will admit himself that he's obsessed with Superman--he's got a collection any fanboy would drool over (he boasts spending over $90,000). He drinks out of the milk carton and always has a cigarette in his mouth--unless he's working, or in costume out of his house. What kind of message would that send? Sure, Dennis has a few quarks, but so did Clark Kent (of which he reminds me a great deal). But if anyone's gonna portray Superman, and put that costume on, I'd like to think it'd be Christopher Lloyd Dennis.

Wonder Woman, played by Jennifer Gehrt, is the token prom queen from the country. She grew up in middle America, was miss... well, everything, in high school; and probably should have married the popular high school jock and settled down, only to play housewife and pop out kids for the rest of her life, never realizing her true dreams and desires. But instead, she suddenly decides to hop on a plane--with the help of her optimistic mother--and get the hell to Los Angeles. Now she's mostly-happy, recently divorced and hopefully energetic about the future. Sure, she holds her belt up with paperclips and says things like "a doctor may save your life, but will you remember him?" but all-in-all, she's a likable character, who has a lot of fun with her character and is driven to succeed. I wish her the best of luck and by the way, I'd be her Wonder Man any day.

Batman, played by Maxwell Allen, opens up quite a bit during the documentary. He shares with us what he shares with his psychiatrist (in costume of course): his violent past. Part curiously creepy and part wishful thinking, Allen's death dealings may all be a kind of fiction; but that makes him all the more intriguing. Why choose Batman? Well, the man looks a great deal like George Clooney--in fact, he was actually a stand-in for him in Batman Forever. Apparently a black belt in several Karate styles--though, you can't tell in the film--Allen's somewhat of a dangerous guy. A quick Google search will prove, at least in part, his shady dealings on the Boulevard. He's heckled many tourists and never hesitates to remind them that he "works for tips!" But despite his many faults, he really does look like Batman. And that's really all that matters--just make sure you tip him, damnit!

The Incredible Hulk, played by Joe McQueen, sold his Super Nintendo so he could afford to catch a train out to L.A.; only to arrive just after the Rodney King riots. He played it smart and headed for the Hollywood Hills, he says, thus living a homeless existence for quite a number of years. In the film, McQueen goes back to his sleeping spot and reminisces briefly about being homeless for several years. He really is the kind of guy who's been knocked down so many times, he has no where else to go but back up. And he'll fight for it, until he makes it. The Hulk and I shared a few words the night prior to the opening and what really touched me about his character was what happened after the film. I walked up to shake both his and Superman's hand, and as I shook his hand I reminded him of our meeting. With tears in his eyes, he nodded his head, assuring me he remembered me and thanking me profusely for attending the screening. That sort of genuine humanity should be the earmark of what makes a person successful. Unfortunately, Hollywood may not be ready for someone that real.

A lot of people say these guys are nothing more than "costumed panhandlers." I agree with the first part: they are costumed. Costumed superheros.

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.myspace.com/therealsuperheromovie.

***
Following Confessions, I headed over to the B-Side Lounge and met some really great people and festivaled with several of them throughout the week. Shout-outs to all the B-Siders reading this! After a few more parties and mingling with a number of filmmakers, I finally made it to another film...

When asked if there are flesh-eating zombies out there, Joel--an undead political activist--quickly retorts: "are there flesh-eating humans?"

Grace Lee not only directs American Zombie, but plays herself in the film. She teams up with John Solomon--also playing himself--to film a documentary project about an undead community living in L.A. The duo quickly find out that some sort of virus, brought on by a violent death, is plaguing its residents, and ultimately zombifying an entire community.

American Zombie is a veritable slice-of-life of four "revenants"--Joel, founder of Z.A.G.: the Zombie Advocacy Group; Judy, who naively searches for true love and denies her zombiness; Ivan, a convenience store clerk who aspires to be a writer; and Lisa, a florist specializing in funeral arrangements for other people--who secretly longs for her own. Each character represents an average person with average emotions and average problems, showing us that the undead aren't too different than the living. Well, except for their rotting flesh, of course.

What's really great about the film is the absolute mockery the protagonists make of themselves. Grace, the ever-so-astute naturalistic documentarian, and John, the bumbling investigative reporter, are at odds with each other throughout the film, and ultimately to a fault. What makes this film not-so-great is twofold: the running time and the conclusion. I think the film would have been better as a short. While it's in-depth look at each character is interesting, I'm not sure if its compelling enough to steer the audience towards anything meaningful. And even worse is the ending, after which, the audience can no longer sympathize with the plight of the community. Unfortunately, what could have been a provocative social commentary, becomes nothing more than a sensationalistic--albeit unique, comedic and funfilled--mockumentary.

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.americanzombiemovie.com/

After American Zombie, I immediately headed over to my first midnight feature.

The worst thing about Undead or Alive: A Zombedy is not necessarily the film itself--and it's bad--but all the interviews and marketing plugs I've read or seen with the director, Glasgow Phillips. He continually plugs the film by saying things like "If you're not sold at 'Zombie Western,' then I don't think you're one of our customers" (from an eFilmCritic interview). That's basically a cutesy way of saying the film has nothing of value other than the fact that it happens to be an amalgam of two genres of film.

The wannabe campy slasher film reminds me more of a drunken high school attempt at slurred comedy and oozing gore than an actual feature film of any substance (and b-movies have some sort of substance!). The plot's typical of any zombie film--and that's not necessarily a bad thing. But the delivery is what's really lacking. Chris Kattan (Saturday Night Live) and James Denton (Desperate Housewives) play washed-out characters who don't take their situation, or each other, seriously. The entire film is reminiscent of a bad comedian laughing at his own bad jokes.

After the film, during the Q&A session, someone described the film as Blazing Saddles meets Shaun of the Dead. But Blazing Saddles was funny and Shaun of the Dead was decent camp. This film is neither.

Of course, one good thing about the movie was it enabled me to meet Chris Kattan; and he did seem truly appreciative of the viewers that evening. I really do find him funny most of the time, and when I briefly spoke to him about his past accomplishments, he genuinely responded positively.

For more information on this film, go to: http://www.undeadoralive.blogspot.com/

***
The film essentially got out at near 3am, given we lost an hour due to Daylight Saving's Time, so I headed straight home for the evening. By the way, "home" was hosted by my awesome, super-cool cousin, Michael (shout out, yo and thanks much!). I briefly checked the panels for the next day and, since I missed "A Conversation with Bill Paxton" (don't worry, I caught up with him at AFI!), I really wanted to make "Grindhouse 101" with Robert Rodriguez...

SXSW.2007 Day One: An Introduction, Hangin' w/Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill & The Incredible Hulk!

Mere days after I'd returned from Mexico (soon to be blogged, I promise!), I called up my buddy David Lowery (shout-out, yo!) to have lunch. He told me he was going to Austin the next day for South by Southwest. We set a time about two hours later, during which I made the decision to head down there myself. The next day, I found myself in line at the Austin Convention Center, waiting to purchase a film badge.

I've only been to Austin, TX two times prior to the last ten days. The last time me and my friend David Downey, barely passing through, went on a trip, combining his work with our pleasure. If I recall correctly, all we did in Austin was hit the Half Price Books and the Hard Rock Cafe, before trudging onward towards Big Bend National Park, to do some hiking. The first time I went was also with David, on New Year's Eve. We drove around the city, checking out the capitol building and other sites, and then ended up on 6th Street for the evening festivities. After some debate, we found ourselves in a club we both didn't care for and so we decided to purchase a six pack (to go along with our bottle of Rum) and hit a motel, only to spend the evening watching Sex in the City. Ironically, we likened the events of that night to the very show we were then watching. Needless to say, I'd never really understood what all the Austin hype was about. That is, until just ten days ago.

Immediately upon obtaining my film badge, I did what any other film lover would do, I hit the registration tent, stocked with free beer. I grabbed a beer and sat down with my festival guide and starting perusing. After a few minutes, I introduced myself to a few others at the table, and we all decided to hit the first unpublished, official party of the festival, before hitting the first, published, official party of the festival... Right. Anyway, I ended up talking primarily to a girl who was speaking at a panel the following day for the interactive portion of the festival, about how the web pornography industry might help influence mainstream web publishing, with regards to paysites and premium content. She charges fees for her content, though, she's not exactly considered mainstream, as she owns and operates a pornography website, herself, based in Canada. Hearing her perspectives on these particular issues was an interesting beginning to the film festival.



The official SXSW Film Opening Party that night really rocked my world, and seriously pumped me up for things to come. I met some really cool people that night, both in the industry and otherwise. Above, you'll see me with Paul Rudd (The 40 Year Old Virgin, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Clueless) and Jonah Hill (he was that dude in The 40 Year Old Virgin that wanted to buy those rad high heel boots with fish swimming around in them). Paul Rudd was really approachable and easy talk to, though, as a friend of mine pointed out correctly, he doesn't seem to quite be in-tune with the conversation. I must say, on the contrary, Jonah Hill is very attentive; and absolutely, ridiculously hilarious. If I were an actor, I'd want to work with him. I also met the director of Austin Movie Show (shout-out to you, Michele!), and ended up hanging out with her on several nightly occasions.

The highlight of the premiere party for me, however, was meeting Superman and the Incredible Hulk. Okay, not the *real* Superman or the *real* Incredible Hulk, but real enough for me. These guys are part of a large group of movie characters found on Hollywood Boulevard, who support themselves by standing on the street, day after day, meeting and taking pictures with tourists. They work for tips, though, like any other tipping industry in America, the tips are not required--in fact, they can't demand a tip, nor can they specify an amount, by law. Either way, I took a few minutes to discuss why these guys were here, with the Incredible Hulk. As anyone else, he was here promoting a film in the festival. His passion and honesty drew me in, so I promised to check out the premiere, the next day. Which brings me to my first film review (day two!)...

Bye Bye Dodge Ram.

For those of you who don't already know, I was involved in a serious traffic accident on March 28th. In addition to my pick-up truck, another pick-up, a car, and five tractor trailers were also involved in the accident. Four other accidents occurred that day--including one with several fatalities--in the same general area on I-40 in Tennessee.

I was traveling, during a tumultuous rainstorm, from Dallas to Columbus, OH to go back to work when the accident happened. Apparently, during a heavy rainstorm, there is a certain area of the freeway that acts almost as a river, carrying water lateral ways across it. I was in the left lane, when I noticed my truck was hydroplaning and I briefly lost control, skidding across the right lane, sideways, and then--as I regained control--found my way onto the right hand shoulder. Thankfully, the two tractor trailers behind me avoided hitting me by swerving. However, the second mildly collided with the first after passing me.

I sat in my truck for about thirty seconds, examining the contents inside--I was effectively moving, so I had just about all of my possessions with me. I got out of the truck to check for any damage, when I noticed another mid-sized pick-up had pulled up behind me. The driver was on his cellular phone--I assume with the police--and had his hazard lights on. I bent down to pick up some of my belongings that had fallen out of the bed of my truck, when I looked up and saw another tractor trailer barreling down the shoulder--coming straight for me.

In an instant--without thinking--I leapt over the guardrail, and just as I began tumbling, heard the loud crash of the tractor trailer colliding with both the pick-up truck that had stopped and my truck. I fell all the way to the bottom of the hill into a ravine. I was somewhat disoriented when I got up, but already heard some commotion from atop the hill. I made my way up slowly, as it was still raining and quite slippery, by grasping thorny shrubs and small trees to work my way up the hill. I was afraid the trailer might fall down, or catch fire, so I didn't go up the same way I came down.


When I finally made it to the top, I saw that my truck was now in the left lane of the freeway, against the tractor trailer. I saw my belongings all over the road, as I made my way closer to the site. Upon further inspection, I saw that the mid-size truck was lodged underneath the tractor trailer--and it no longer appeared to be a truck. Somehow, the man survived the accident, and was not only conscious, but talking, when the emergency response team carried him off to the hospital.

Apparently, the tractor trailer that hit me, was attempting to avoid stopping or merely slowing down, by illegally using the shoulder as an additional lane. After the tractor trailer hit both trucks on the shoulder, two other tractor trailers rear-ended it, effectively blocking the entire freeway. The freeway was shut down for about five hours, as all the wreckage had to be cleaned up and the scene, as well as all the people involved, had to be investigated.

What would have been a mild delay for me, turned out to be a major catastrophe. However, I'm still alive and not badly hurt. I'm back in Texas for the time being, as I hurt my knee and cannot traverse a roof right now, nor do I really want to buy another truck under pressure. I've done that twice now and haven't been 100% happy with the results.

Instead, I'm currently evaluating the next step in my life, and I really don't have any set plan as of yet. I'm just taking it easy and going with the flow. As far as blogging goes, I will most-definitely have my reviews of the SXSW and AFI film festivals up soon, and then following, a summarization of Mexico/Central America excursion.

Thanks for the support, and hopefully, I'll be back on my "wheels" soon. ;-)