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Enter Emo Spidey: A Response to Spider-Man 3

The basic moral of Spider-Man 3 dances around the existentialist idea of choice and consequence. We all have choices and those choices affect the environment around us. As Stan Lee states (the obvious) when pointing to a picture of Spider Man passing by on a bus: "one person can make a difference." In the final scene of the film, Peter Parker must make a definitive choice as he faces a personal opponent. In writing this response to the public premiere of Spider-Man 3, I too must make a definitive choice. And for me, it's also quite personal. I choose not to forgive Sam Raimi for this film. I choose to stew in my intial reaction to what has just been presented to me onscreen.

I remember riding my bike week after week to Lone Star Comics when I was twelve years old, just to pick up the latest issue of Venom. The store would call me at home and I'd pedal on over there just as fast as my little legs would carry me. For me, Venom was the pinnacle of all supervillians. Spider-Man 3 has ruined that experience for me.

In fact, Spider-Man 3 has ruined quite a lot comic book experiences for me. The total hack job that Raimi has put together reeks of stock action sequences, scattered with misplaced character portraits and loose-ended plot developments. There's really no story here, just a lot of hyped up super-inflated, ego-driven madness. And on top of all that silliness, the film envelopes itself in cheese, but leaves out all the camp. I won't bore you with details, but the film just takes itself way too seriously, and by doing so, turns the audience against it. The film, in essence, disrespects and abuses the audience with scenes so godawful one can't help to boo at the end--and that's exactly what happened after the premiere tonight.